Why do questions make our listeners scared and uncomfortable?

Imagine this scenario. I call my good friend, Mary, and say, “What are you doing Thursday night at 7 PM?”

Do you feel it? Do you sense Mary’s uneasiness? Mary doesn’t want to answer my question. She is afraid to commit to 7 PM as I might ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do. She doesn’t know where this question is leading.

Mary might be thinking, “Oh, I better not commit. If I say I am free, maybe he will ask me to commit a double homicide. Or worse yet, maybe he will invite me to a two-hour sales presentation!”

Yes, Mary will be very hesitant to answer my question.

Now, feel the difference when I let Mary know why I am asking the question. I call Mary and say, “My daughter is having her birthday party on Thursday night. Would it be okay if you came over on Thursday night at 7 PM?”

Feel the difference? Mary is now more comfortable answering the question because she knows where the conversation is going. She knows why I am asking the question.

So how does this apply to our retailing?

First, we should give a bit more background to our contacts before asking our qualifying question. We don’t want to go too fast too soon. How will we do this?

By asking a “tiny question” first. This lets our listeners know where we are going with our conversation. Our “tiny question” will make people feel more comfortable with our conversation.

Second, if our “tiny question” is not intrusive, and easy to answer, most people will say, “Yes.” To build rapport and to be polite, we should start with easy questions in normal conversations. This is important. We want to stay in rapport and avoid stressing out our listener.

Now, when the people we are speaking with say “Yes” to this easy opening “tiny question,” they will believe their answer. They commit to their answer and opinion. As our conversation continues, they will want to stay consistent with their opening “Yes” answer.

So if our initial question was easy, such as, “Do you like to be healthy?” - then our potential customer will be more open-minded to health options. This would be consistent with their “Yes” answer to “Do you like to be healthy?”

Want to see how this would work?

Here are some examples.

Imagine we sell vitamins. We walk up to people and say, “Would you like to try some new vitamins?”

Well, we can imagine that most people would say, “No.” They wouldn’t be interested.

Now, imagine we sell vitamins and we ask this “tiny question” first. We walk up to people and say, “Do you like to take good care of your health?” Of course they would say, “Yes.”

And then we would continue the conversation by asking, “Would it be okay if you tried our new vitamins for two weeks and see how good you feel?”

This time more people would say, “Yes.” Why is this?

People like to be consistent. They resist change. If they commit to a position or viewpoint, they don’t want to flip-flop like a politician. So if they commit to wanting good health, it seems consistent to them to be open-minded about trying some new vitamins.

Let’s try a few more.

* “Do you find organic vegetables expensive? Would it be okay if you got the same nutrition in a capsule?”

* “Do your children go to school? Would it be okay if you could protect them from all the bacteria and viruses the other children bring to school?”

* “Feel tired in the mornings? Would it be okay if you could wake up feeling fresh and rested?”

* “Hate being sick? Would it be okay if you could have an efficient immune system to protect yourself?”

Imagine we sell discounted electricity.

We approach people and say, “Would you like to save some money on your electric bill?” Most people would say, “No.”

They might offer excuses such as, “We don’t want to change. We are happy where we are. We are afraid it won’t work out. We don’t really know you.”

Again we will add a “tiny question” to make our listeners more open-minded. We will ask, “Do you like saving money?” Most people will reply, “Yes.”

And then we will continue our conversation by asking, “Would it be okay if I saved you some money on your electric bill?” To remain consistent with their previous answer, more people will say, “Yes.”