Carol Dweck popularized the term, “growth mindset.” What is a growth mindset?

People with a growth mindset believe their abilities can be developed through:

  • practice
  • hard work 
  • perseverance.

Growth mindset people are more open to learning new things and attempting challenging tasks.

What is the opposite of a growth mindset?

A fixed mindset. People who believe they are stuck with what abilities they currently have. They don’t want to attempt learning new things because they feel it won’t make a difference. They feel resigned to where they are.

How about an example?

A fixed mindset would say: “I’m not good at math.”

A growth mindset would say: “I need to invest extra effort to improve my math skills, but I can learn to get better.”

We hear prospects with fixed mindsets tell us these objections:

  • I am not good at business.
  • I could never learn to do that.
  • This sounds too hard to do.
  • I am not good at selling.
  • Why try? I will only fail.
  • This will take too long.
  • I tried and failed with something like this before.
  • I don’t have any energy.
  • I don’t have any time.
  • I don’t have any money.
  • I don’t know enough.
  • It’s not worth it.
  • I wouldn’t know where to start.
  • I don’t know any people.
  • I am too shy to leave my room.
  • Nothing ever works for me.
  • I would love to go the extra mile, but there might be a lot of traffic there. I better stay where I am.

The above objections arise from fixed mindsets. These prospects decided they can’t do something without even trying. They gave up before they started! We can feel the resignation in their voices. Frustrating and sad to watch.

Now as we look at these objections, we think, “I don’t want to sound like that. I don’t want to give up before I even had a chance to try. I want a growth mindset!”

Good choice. 

If we are reading this book now, we have a growth mindset. Great news for us.

Knowing our destination gives us a direction.

We want to be in the top 1% in network marketing. Without a goal, it is impossible to know which direction to start our journey.

Think about people without goals. Motivation is hard. They tend to drift in the easiest direction. Their Maslow’s Pyramid looks something like this.

Let’s choose a good direction if we want to put effort into our lives. We want to look back and proudly say, “I spent my time wisely.”

Zig Ziglar said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll probably end up somewhere else.”

Goals make sure we put our efforts in the right direction. Since we are reading this book, we know our goal already, to be in the top 1% in network marketing. We are moving in the right direction.

Goals help us answer questions like these.

  • Where do we want to be in five years? 
  • What do we want our lives to look like? 
  • How do we want to feel as we live our lives?
  • How much money do we want to earn? 
  • How much time and freedom do we desire?
  • What kind of lifestyle do we want to live? 
  • Do we want our efforts to make a difference to others?
  • Who do we want to help?

If we don’t answer these questions for our lives, then someone else will answer these questions for us. Ouch.

So how does our growth mindset relate to personal development?

People with a growth mindset continually work on themselves. They want to improve. They want to learn new things and expand their potential. This is what we call personal development.

We make deliberate and conscious choices to improve ourselves in some way. We can choose to improve our:

  • Attitude.
  • Skills
  • Character.
  • Knowledge.
  • Mindset.
  • Abilities.
  • Health.
  • Relationships.

Plenty of areas for us to choose.

Remember those fixed mindset people? They would say, “I don’t need personal development. I am good enough.” But that is them talking, not us.

Personal development takes us from where we are now, to where we want to be in the future.

If we believe in constant improvement, then our personal growth will never stop. No finish line for us here. We want our lives to be better.

Personal growth is a journey, something we live every day. It is not a destination. It is not someplace we get to … and then stop.

So where do we start?

Here is the secret that explains everything.

“The only thing between us, and where we want to be, is a whole bunch of things that we don’t know … yet.”

If we already knew these things, then we would already be where we wanted to be!

This is where a growth mindset helps. We know we have to learn more, and we believe that we can. People with fixed mindsets give up at this point.

But, here is the challenge.

We don’t know what we don’t know. And if we don’t know what we don’t know, then how will we ever figure out what we don’t know? How can we learn new things when we don’t know what to learn?

Thankfully, there is a solution.

We have books, audio instruction, mentors, seminars, workshops, and a world of information and skills from people who have gone before us. This is where we will find the answers to our question, “What do I have to learn to go to the next step?”

Where is the best place to start?

Everyone has a different starting point. Do some people have a head start? Yes, and that is okay. We need to start building from where we are now.

Don’t worry about that superstar on stage. Don’t worry about that person with the magic personality. Don’t worry if some people seem to have natural advantages.

It doesn’t matter where we start, as long as we point in the right direction. That means every little thing that we learn, moves us closer to where we want to be. Our progress accumulates. We get better every day like a giant snowball rolling down a hill.

Management expert, Peter Drucker, said, “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” 

Where did I start?

Near the bottom. Okay, maybe I had to look up just to see the bottom. It wasn’t pretty.

When I started, I was a shy, nerdy, personality-free, charisma-bypassed, socially awkward wallflower, and should not have been allowed out in public. Not a pretty site. My childhood was on a remote rural farm, and all I had to talk to were the cows. Later, I studied engineering. Engineering students don’t even talk to each other. If there was an award for invisible, or least-remembered, I would have made the hall of fame. I was ill-prepared to start even basic conversations. A conversation with a stranger was terrifying. I didn’t even have the advantage of being a social media influencer. Oh, and I wasn’t an Instagram model.

Did I have a lot to learn? Oh my. I had to learn almost everything from scratch. I was even clueless about basic social manners. I had never heard the words “goal-setting” in school. Everything I learned was a new discovery. 

I started with an audio. No, I didn’t download this audio from an imaginary Internet. It wasn’t on a CD. On audio cassette tape? No, they hadn’t been invented yet. It was on a scratched, vinyl, 45 rpm record. My sponsor loaned me this single recording from Earl Nightingale called “The Strangest Secret.” 

Did I grasp the message? No. I was clueless. But, it did give me a hint that there was a lot that I didn’t know. I was pointed in the right direction.

The journey ahead

This is a long road. There is no end destination. Our goalposts will always move as we get better. That is good news. Our personal growth should never end. We can always improve. Life is our adventure. Let’s experience life at a higher level.

Education is expensive.

Not in money, but in time. When I started in network marketing, I didn’t have a budget for self-improvement. Where could I go to learn more?

The obvious source of great ideas and information is from books. Thank goodness for a free library system. It didn’t take long to go through their limited selection of self-improvement books, but by that time I already knew exactly what I wanted to learn.

Next step? Search some used bookstores. There was not much available 50 years ago, but another baby step.

Today? Many successful people have made their network marketing journey before us. Let’s learn some of their lessons to speed up our growth.

What are the first lessons I learned in my personal development journey?


I never knew there was such a thing. But, I learned that attitude was the lens through which I saw the world, and how the world saw me. Did I have a bad attitude before? Maybe not a horrible attitude, but certainly I was a self-appointed skeptic of everything. Few people want a skeptical friend or a skeptical business associate. 

I worked on having a more positive and supportive point of view, and guess what? More positive reactions happened immediately. 

Instead of criticizing other people’s ideas, I tried to be more supportive. More people would stay in conversation with me. Huge progress for this introvert. My family noticed and appreciated my improved attitude also. I was on my way!


I spent my entire life as a follower trying to fit in. I accepted what other people told me to do. It never occurred to me to have an original plan. Did I know how to set smart goals, better goals, or actionable goals? No. That would come later. 

There is an old saying, “If we don’t know where we are going, then any road will take us there.” That was how I lived my life, without a clue and without direction. Baby steps.


I thought relationships happened automatically, but I learned that we could create them. We don’t have to passively hope someone will like us or connect with us. We can take the initiative to get to know others better and make new friends. 


I read successful people took action. Everyone has ideas. Nothing special in having ideas. But, successful people put ideas into motion and get results. That made sense to me, so I took action on every idea that crossed my path. Some ideas worked, and some didn’t. That was okay. I knew that if I kept taking action, something would work for me. 


I was good at procrastination. But, this is not a good habit to master. Was I lazy? That could be true. I thought, “Why get motivated when I don’t know what I want?” Having a goal helped me have a reason to start taking action. I was beginning to see where all these personal development skills were coming together. There is power in synergy.


Whew! This was a big revelation to me.

Most humans go through life on autopilot, reacting to whatever happens to them at the moment. If we smile at them, they smile back. If we say “hi” to them, they say “hi” back to us. What happens when we go into a retail store? What do we say when the sales clerk asks us, “Can I help you?” What is our automatic reply? “Oh no, I am just looking.” 

What if I changed my reply to, “Yes, I am looking for a gift for my sister’s birthday.” Whoa! A totally different reaction from the sales clerk. I learned that I could affect the reactions of others by changing my word. Oh my!

Do we see a pattern yet?

These responses are examples of automatic programs in our human brains. These programs control our behaviors automatically, without thinking about them. And these automatic reactions are powerful.

Humans go through life reacting, reacting, and reacting.

Now, here is the question.

We meet a prospect. Does the prospect’s behavior have anything to do with the prospect? Or does our prospect’s behavior have everything to do with what we say and what we do?

This was a tough lesson for me to learn. 

I realized that I wasn’t a victim of the current circumstances, but that I caused these circumstances.

If people are reactive, and they react negatively to me, uh-oh, I am the cause. I did not take that lesson very well. But, when I finally took personal responsibility for my actions, this simple lesson changed everything. This meant I was in more control of the outcome than I thought. I had to stop being the victim of what was happening. Ouch. This lesson hurt.

I changed my thinking. “If I don’t like how prospects react to me, change what I say and do.”

The pros know this.

Instead of looking for the perfect prospect, ready to buy, we have the power to create prospects on demand by saying and doing better things.

We are not victims. We have the power to write our future.

The next personal development lesson? 

Action makes things happen.

A simple law of physics? Action makes things happen. Until we take action, nothing happens. Seems wishing, hoping, and planning don’t move things forward.

Just because I set goals, it did not mean they would automatically happen. Planning alone is not enough. I would get excited about hundreds of possibilities, but thinking about things won’t get the job done. On the plus side, at least I was thinking about how I could have a personally-designed future.

My biggest breakthrough?


I spent my early career talking to people with my agenda. When they talked, I wasn’t listening. I was waiting for them to finish so I can get back to telling them my message. Did others notice my agenda? Yes. They could feel it. It was all about me. My lack of interest in what they were saying was obvious. Of course, they didn’t like that. 

My lack of social skills had never entered my mind. All these lessons were a huge surprise for me.

What did I notice most about listening? When I listened to people with interest, they liked that. Now, creating relationships became easy. This simple change is one of the strongest ways of building rapport with others. No teacher ever brought this up in my engineering classes.

The bigger benefit happened later. Instead of me lip-syncing a pre-programmed agenda, I could now adjust what I said based on their interests. It seems people are most interested in themselves, not me or what I had to offer. Quite a surprise. This explained why no one was reacting to my wonderful sales pitch.

I couldn’t talk to my prospects about what interested them, because I didn’t know what interested them. I was too busy talking about me and my business.

There was some good news though. Being an introvert, it wasn’t hard for me to learn to listen. I was less nervous. And then some magic happened. Prospects opened up more and told me about their problems. They wanted to fix their problems. Now there was a reason for them to listen to what I had to say.

Did I have any natural personal development skills when I started?

No. I am sure my sponsor put an ice pack on his forehead every day to dull the pain from slapping his forehead.

But what if we already have basic social skills? Wow. What a great head start on our careers. This means we could concentrate our personal development to more than the simple basics. Few people start as ill-equipped as me. But no matter where we start, we can learn and grow from there.

Here’s the good news. Personal development makes us better people. Others are happy when we improve. No one is telling us, “Stop becoming a better person.” It is nice to have the support of our friends and family.

Personal development is not expensive in money, but it does take time.

If we are time-poor, how can we fit personal development into our days? Jobs, family, commuting, eating, and sleeping all take time. Then what will be our plan?

Baby steps.

If reading is uncomfortable, let’s start by reading one page a day. It is hard to stop after only one page, so we will naturally continue a bit longer. 

Can’t stand reading? How about an audiobook? Have someone read the book to us.

Prefer in-person learning experiences? Replace our golf or Internet scrolling time with a live workshop.

Every decision we make has a cost. Choosing to do one activity means not doing another activity. The cost of personal development is time.

The benefits?

We will be happier, healthier, more successful, and grow as a person. This means we can make a bigger difference in the world.

As we grow and change, our interests will upgrade to better skills. What we once found fascinating may no longer hold our attention. Our journey gets better.

Personal development is not a one-time event. It is a continuous journey that unlocks our hidden potential.

Want to make personal development almost automatic?

Choose our associations.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
—Jim Rohn

Jake Pena has an alternate way to describe this. He says, “If you hang around four broke people, I guarantee you will be number five.” It’s a powerful way of remembering this principle. Some examples?

  • If our four closest friends work out at the gym every day, we will be in shape.
  • If our four closest friends are alcoholics, chances are we will have a drinking problem.
  • If our four closest friends love to gossip, we will gossip too.
  • If our social connections are emotional vampires, they will drain our motivation.
  • If we surround ourselves with people who want to achieve more, personal development will feel great for us.

This is common sense. Even parents know this. They tell their children not to hang around gang members.

Maybe we can’t affect all our associations. But with a little bit of effort, we can improve who we spend our time with. We don’t have to ditch all our old friends. Just find a few good ones to add to our associations.

No permission is needed.

We can start our personal development immediately. The first step in personal development is admitting we are not perfect and can be better. That was hard for my ego. It took me years of bad results before I admitted I was the problem. Everyone around me could see it but me. 

To start? It takes the willingness to take an honest look in the mirror and accept responsibility for our own actions and results. If we don’t like the reflection in the mirror, then we need to change ourselves. And then, we are off on our adventure!

We can’t start a new life if we keep re-living our past.

My next step?

Finally, because of my self-improvement progress, I could afford to buy books. I knew exactly the books I wanted. For me, I didn’t need more inspiration. I didn’t need more motivation. I desperately needed to know how to do stuff such as:

  • How do I make a sale? 
  • How do I close prospects? 
  • How to overcome my fear of talking to people? 
  • What do leaders do? 
  • Where can I find more prospects? 
  • Why don’t people listen to me? 
  • What is going on in my prospects’ illogical minds? 
  • What can I say to inspire people to action?

So many questions, so much to learn, so little time. I was ready for some specific skills of exactly what to say, and exactly what to do, to improve my interactions with prospects.

This led me to Step #4: Learn network marketing skills.

Excerpt from

Be the Top 1% in Network Marketing

7 Simple Steps to Leave the 99% Behind

Mindset #4: Shy? Welcome to the club.

Fear of talking to strangers? Fear of what our prospects might say?

This is normal because we have … feelings. Everyone hates rejection and being judged by other people.

Our inner fear of talking to prospects grows when we have an agenda or something to sell. To reduce our inner fear, use what we have learned so far.

  1. Consider selling as adding one more option to people’s lives.
  2. Our conversations with prospects are not a “win-lose” battle. We are simply transferring the message in our heads to theirs.
  3. Prospects are pre-sold and already want what we have to offer.

Feeling better?

What happens when we talk to people when we are not prospecting? The conversation is easy. Why?

Because we don’t have an agenda and we are not trying to sell.

This type of conversation is easy. We feel relaxed. We are giving. We are helping. We are interested in our prospects and it just feels normal.

The opposite happens when we have an agenda and try to sell and convince people to buy our products. We feel fearful inside. Why?

Because we don’t have their best interests at heart. We are thinking more about our agenda than thinking about helping them.

Tip: When we visit with prospects, we build trust and rapport by asking questions. When we strive to understand what is happening in their world, they don’t look at us as a salesperson, but as an advisor.

And who will prospects listen to more? A salesman? Or an advisor?

Asking questions is natural for introverts. Introverts already know this is a secret for trust and rapport.

But introverts have one big disadvantage. They don’t have enough prospects.

Let’s fix that now.

How? Meet new people in person … with no agenda! Just be interested in them. We will build a huge group of new friends and acquaintances. Then, when appropriate, we can tell them about our products.

These people will be real friends, not “conditional” friends. We are not making new friends only for the chance to sell them something. We are making new friends to improve both of our lives.

Will some new friends ask us or give us permission to talk about our products? Sure. But that is not a requirement for them to be our friend. No one wants to be a “conditional” friend who is dropped because he didn’t qualify as a customer. That is a bad and selfish agenda when meeting new people.

Meeting new people.

New people are everywhere, but which group of new people should we meet? People who want to move forward in their lives? Or people who are content with no motivation for change.

We will find that people who want to move forward in their lives are more fun, more open-minded, and make great friends.

Here are a few suggestions on where and how to meet new people, even if we are shy.


Join Toastmasters. A great place to meet motivated people. As a bonus, the public speaking skills we will learn will help us overcome our fear of talking to people.


Join free networking events in our area. Networking in person is always popular. Humans are wired for connecting with others. Everyone passes out their business cards, but we will be smart. Instead of meeting and collecting business cards from 40 people, we will build a new relationship with two or three people at each event. We want friends and connections, not business cards.


Attend free educational workshops and classes. Make friends among those attending. They want to move forward in their life.


Join an inexpensive health club. Work out, get in shape. Meet other people who want to do the same.


Join the 5k fun runs. These people like to do things and enjoy the social contact with like-minded people.


Borrow a dog. Take the dog for a walk. Meet and bond with other dog owners. And as an added bonus, we get exercise. (Babies are even better conversation starters with strangers, but babies are harder to borrow.)


Have a short message chat with a new friend on social media. We will find that we have a lot in common.


Accept an invitation to a party or event. Start small by attending and standing against the wall. As we feel more confident, we can talk to the other shy people next to us on the wall.


Pick up a new hobby. We could learn to camp, to sail a small boat, or to even learn a new language.


Check out the “Fun Things To Do This Weekend” list in your local paper or online. All these activities attract people.


Host your class reunion. You don’t have to wait for a 10-year or 20-year anniversary. You can do it anytime.


Start your own breakfast club. Get the members to pre-sell our products to their customers.


Offer to be a guest on a local radio talk show for a public service announcement.


Offer to speak at luncheons or group events. Many organizations are looking for free, entertaining speakers with interesting topics.


Attend a free or low-cost evening class on business or salesmanship.


Establish some contacts who will send you referrals. Many people you meet will have large centers of influence.


Rent a table or booth at a show or exhibition.

Got the idea?

We need to ask ourselves the right question. Instead of asking ourselves, “Why can’t I meet new people?” … ask ourselves, “How can I meet new people?” Everyone can find at least one way of meeting new people that is comfortable.

We are just beginning, and with a little time, we will have many new friends. Some will become customers, some won’t. Some will refer us to others who want our products, some won’t.

But the great news is that they will all be friends!

So don’t feel bad if we are shy and don’t have a huge influence with people … yet.

Meet people. Try to be helpful. And in time, we will have a huge list of people who respect us.

The worst and the best.

The worst that can happen is that we end up with a lot of great friends.

The best that can happen is that meeting people becomes more comfortable and natural for us. We will realize that most people are shy also. They appreciate that we took the first step. So go out and mingle, have fun, learn new things, meet new friends … and see what happens over the next 30 days.

Royal Caribbean Brilliance

November 30 - December 7, 2024 

7-day cruise of fun and learning leaving from New Orleans, Louisiana.

Cruise with networkers from Australia, England, Sweden, Canada, Singapore, Mexico and more.


Our cruise will visit Costa Maya, Mexico, Belize City, Belize and Cozumel, Mexico.   Will you be with us???



  • Saturday, November 30 - Depart New Orleans at 4:00pm
  • Sunday, December 1 - Day at Sea (and some free trainings)
  • Monday, December 2 - Day at Sea (and some free trainings)Tuesday, December 3 - Puerto Costa Maya, Mexico
  • Wednesday, December 4 - Belize City, Belize
  • Thursday, December 5 - Cozumel, Mexico
  • Friday, December 6 - Day at Sea (and some free trainings)
  • Saturday, December 7 - to New Orleans at 7:00am

Cruise, dine, attend workshops and network with the best while enjoying this 7-day Caribbean cruise. And yes, one good idea could pay for the cost of our cruise!

Features include: 90,090 tons (2112 passengers), 8 restaurants including the Lido Cafe with various food choices (some have a cover charge), 16 bars and lounges, Spa, non-stop activities, children’s program, 3 swimming pools. Mini golf, rock climbing, basketball court and wireless access onboard (add’l cost). Updated in 2013.


Rates & Details Per Person (7-night cruise).

  • Inside Cabin - $630                        
  • Outside Cabin - $667   
  • Balcony Cabin - $1,001

Rates include cruise, port, government taxes, all meals, seminars & entertainment. Airfare and tips are additional. This cruise costs less than an ordinary hotel room!


Good news! If there is a lower rate available when booking your cabin, then the travel agent will get that rate for you. There is limited availability for 3rd & 4th in the cabin - contact Jan for availability and pricing.

Common Questions

Q. When do we leave and return to New Orleans?

A. The ship departs at 4:00pm on Saturday, November 30. Disembarking should finish about 10:00am on Saturday, December 7. Please arrange your flights early.


Q. How do I book now to reserve one of the cabins?

A. deposit of $250 per person, will hold your space - balance due Aug 15, 2024. Or you can deposit $250 and make monthly payments.


Q. What if I change my mind after booking?

A. Penalties for cancellation begin after Aug 14, unless booking a special non-refundable deposit.


Q. Are all the seminars included in the cruise price?

A. Yes! And remember, one good idea from the seminars could potentially pay for this cruise, and cruises in the future? It is up to us to take the good ideas we learn and put them to use to build our business.

Forget ordinary holidays that won’t earn us money.

Spend a week with leaders to improve our careers.

More Information or to Book Now.


Contact Jan at Distinctive Travel at 713-240-6753 or email her at She can take answer any questions and take care of all the details to get you registered.


Come join us!


See you on the cruise! This will be epic!

Do prospects’ ears actually work, or are they just for show?

Here is the “no” conversation that plagued my early career.

When I started network marketing 50 years ago, I wanted to be “Master of the Universe.” This was my chance to get paid what I was worth.

And yes, I got paid exactly what I was worth. Zero!

With the confidence that comes with ignorance, and a bit of amateur pride, the universe overpaid me by allowing me to earn zero. I assumed that network marketing was the only profession in the universe that didn’t require skills. That was a dumb assumption.

My conversations with prospects went something like this:

Me: “Hi.”

Prospect: “No.”

Me: “My name is Big Al.”

Prospect: “No.”

Me: “But don’t you want to--”

Prospect: “No.”

Me: “Well, can I at least tell you--”

Prospect: “No.”

How do amateur network marketers explain this? They don’t. They shrug their shoulders and say, “We are victims. Prospects are stupid. We’ll talk to someone else.”

That is why there is a difference between amateur network marketers and professional network marketers.

We can choose which group we want to be in.

The “insiders,” the professional network marketers, learn brain rules. What are brain rules?

These are shortcuts and tools that we use to control our brains. We want our brains to work forus, and not against us.

We can use these same shortcuts and tools to get our message past our prospects' natural brain defenses. Now our prospects hear our message. And isn’t that what we want? For our prospects to actually hear our message? To be able to give them one more option to improve their lives?

It doesn’t matter how wonderful our company video or presentation is ... if no one will look at it. We can’t help people if we can’t get through to them.

Want an example of one of these brain rules?

See if this is useful.

Brain rule: “People don’t want to change their minds.”

Does that sound familiar?

If we change our minds, we feel that we were wrong. Nobody wants to feel wrong. Plus, we have a strong bias against information that disagrees with our current beliefs. This is why we defend our favorite band or sports team; it’s called confirmation bias.

What is the solution? What if we want open-minded prospects who will say “yes” to our message? Simple!

If prospects don’t want to change their minds, then open with a question that has the “yes” answer we want.

Example #1: “Would you want to look at my part-time business?” (We can expect a negative reply.)

Example #2: “Do you hate commuting to work every day?” (Our odds of a “yes” reply are good. Our prospects don't have to change their minds to say “yes” to our question.)

Amateur network marketers who follow example #1 can expect massive rejection and no business.

Professional network marketers who follow example #2 will have lots of prospects to talk to.

This looks like fun. Before we move on, let’s do a few more examples of asking the right questions. Ready?

Example #1: “Can I give you a presentation on how you can get rich?”

Example #2: “My neighbor is earning a lot of extra money. Would you like to know how he is doing it?”

Obviously, Example #2 will get more prospects to listen.

Example #1: “Call your friends and relatives. Tell them how good our products and opportunity will be for them. Okay?” (Ugh, we can feel the resistance already.) 

Example #2: “Make sure to let your friends and relatives know first. You don’t want them to think you didn’t like them and wouldn’t even give them a chance. We don’t want to be embarrassed, do we?”

Example #2 feels better, doesn’t it?

Brain rules are not hard to learn. But if we don’t know brain rules, we will be victims for the rest of our careers.

We will struggle to find prospects, struggle to hold our prospects’ attention, and go bald from scratching our heads wondering why prospects don’t connect with us. Now that is an ugly career.

Top marketers use brain rules to communicate with us all the time. That is why we hear their messages. And that is how we decide if their message will serve us or not. We should give the same courtesy to our prospects.

Let’s take a look at another example of re-wording our message.

Imagine a salesman, who wants to help us save money by switching our utility service to his company, tells us:

“I want you to change your utility services to my company.”

Change? No, not for us. We don’t know this salesman. Our minds think, “What if the electricity fails in a storm? Would this new company fix the problem? What if we won’t save money, or there is some other trick? Will the new company drain out my old electricity and replace it with lower voltage that won’t work?”

A little re-wording could make a huge difference for our brains. Now imagine the salesman said:

“It takes a lot of time and effort to save money on our bills. But we can reduce our bill in only 4 minutes.”


These words made it easier for us to open our minds, lower our prejudices, and add one more option for our lives.

We have two choices for our career:

Choice #1: Watch our conversations bounce off our prospects’ foreheads, shatter on the floor, and then complain, “Life isn’t fair! No one wants to listen.” (Yes, this is a strategy, but it’s a poor strategy. Yet many amateur networkers use it!)

Choice #2: Learn some brain rules. Become a professional network marketer. Feel the power. Watch prospects listen. Get the bonus checks we deserve.

Excerpt from

Breaking the Brain Code

Easy Lessons for Your Network Marketing Career

Enjoy learning new and better ways to understand how we and our prospects think and act.

My new personal trainer ascends from hell, brushing the dirt off his shoulders.

“Okay. Time for our first step. Let’s warm up with 100 push-ups.”


If I could do a push-up, I wouldn’t need a personal trainer. He doesn’t appear to have a sense of humor. Just as well, as he just got fired.

Lesson learned.

When we make the first step too big, our prospects hesitate

So what offer could a professional personal trainer make so that the first step for “chubby me” would be possible?

“Okay. Time for our first step. Let’s warm up with a stretch. From your sitting position, slowly stretch to your right and reach into your gym bag and grab a donut.”

Yeah! That would work. I’m “all in” and ready to sign a “personal trainer for life contract” ... after I eat my donut.

The same is true for our network marketing prospects. When we make our offer and the first step appears achievable, our chances of success skyrocket. We need to make our prospects feel they can succeed.

If our prospects believe they can do the first step, they will assume the following steps are possible also. Their attention is on the very first step. Our prospects won’t bother to think too far into the future.

Remember this old saying?

“A journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step.”

We want to sell our prospects on taking that first step. Then, with the momentum rolling, it will be easier for them to visualize the outcome. And as a bonus, if the first step appears easy, we will get fewer objections from our prospects.

How can we shrink that first step?

#1: Which is a better offer?

Results quickly … or results later?

That wasn’t hard.

When we offer fast results it is easy for our prospects to want our offers. So what would prospects want as fast as possible?

  • To break even or profit on their initial investment
  • To fire their boss instead of suffering years in an undesirable job
  • A way to earn bonuses now while waiting for the residual income to build
  • A chance to earn enough now to replace one day at work every week

Can we emphasize the quick wins our prospects will get when they take our offers? Humans are naturally short-term thinkers. Now is always more powerful than later.

This is why 18-year-old prospects fail to get excited about long-term residual income and retiring ten years early.

We want to shrink the time to the first big payback our prospects will receive.

#2: How hard will this be?

If our revolutionary offer is complicated, difficult to understand, and hard to do, expect massive resistance. Prospects hesitate to volunteer for difficult tasks. They prefer the habits and processes they do now.

Examples of difficult offers?

  • A structured fasting timetable with handfuls of tablets to take every day
  • Complicated skincare regimes that take 30 minutes
  • Services that require extra time
  • Instructions that are hard to understand
  • Efforts that will require leaving our comfort zones
  • Learning new technologies

Prospects want ease and convenience, not challenges. Their lives are hard now and they don’t want to make them harder.

#3: How big is my investment?

Time invested is time that we will never get back. On the plus side, if our offers give our prospects more time, this is a huge bonus in our favor. Everyone complains about not having enough time, and if we can help, we will be popular.

If we want to talk about the long journey to success, now may not be the right time. Our prospects haven’t received any quick wins yet, so their confidence isn’t high. No one wants to look forward to a long and painful journey.

Also, our prospects will think, “Is taking this first step worth the cost of changing my current life? This will cost me time and money, so I better be sure it is worth it.”

#4. How big is my risk?

Humans hate risk. That is why Tool #1 is all about reducing risk.

What else can we do to make this first step easier and less risky?

  • Offer a free trial or sample. This gives prospects a chance to try our product or service before they commit to buying it.
  • Break down the offer into smaller steps. This will make it seem less daunting and more achievable.
  • Or, how about a low-cost introductory offer?
  • Make our offer clear and easy to understand. When we don’t understand everything, we will have doubts in the back of our minds holding us back.
  • Remind our prospects that their success is inevitable with our help.

#5: How much can I delay?

We think, “If I have to do it now, wow! I better be sure. But if I can delay some things to the future, that doesn’t seem so bad. I’ll worry about the future later.”

Can we delay the full payment?

Can we extend the guarantee?

Can we give them a little more time before making the big investment?

#6: Focus the vision on the outcome.

Let’s make our benefits and outcome larger so that their time and money investment feels worth it. This is a great time to pile on all those extra goodies we love to talk about. Yes, remind them of the recognition, the free trips, the feeling of accomplishment, the security of the extra money.

#7: Convenience and speed can be better than free.

We value our time and our efforts. So imagine a trip to the Universal Studios theme park. We spent a fortune on airline tickets and hotel expenses, and now we are in line to buy tickets.

The question is, “After our huge investment to get here, will we spend a few more dollars to get the premium tickets? Those special tickets that allow us to bypass the 45 minutes we would wait in line for each ride?”

Yes. We didn’t spend thousands of dollars to bake in the hot sun waiting in long lines. Convenience and speed rock.

That is why dieters drink an expensive protein shake instead of the free option of walking two hours more every day.

And this is why spending a few hundred dollars to start a network marketing business is preferable to renting an office, hiring employees, arranging insurance, advertising, marketing, and all of the other expenses and headaches of another business.

The first step is the hardest

If we can shrink the first step, we make it easier for our prospects to want our offers.

What is the smallest possible first step that skeptical prospects could take? Once they have that first step successfully under their belt, the following steps will become easier. And as their confidence grows, their train will pick up speed and their vision of the future will grow bigger and brighter.

Excerpt from

An Offer They Can’t Refuse

14 tools to create better offers for network marketing

This book is not about the audience or our personal head trash. This book is about making great offers. Now that we have addressed the audience and the head trash, let’s learn how to make our offers appealing.

Q. So what is the #3 factor in making great offers?

Answer: The actual offer. The option we give to our prospects.

While there are many strategies and tactics, let’s keep our focus on:

  • Creating our offers.
  • Positioning our offers.
  • And how we describe our offers.

Time for some fun now. We finally can make our offer.

Our head trash is gone. If we make an offer now, make it an option, and present it to prospects who qualify … then two things can happen.

  1. Our prospects will say “no” to the option we gift to them. This doesn’t mean we are bad. It only means the option we offered was bad for them at this moment. (And yes, we can try again with a better option.)
  2. Our prospects will say “yes” to the option we gift to them. Done. And now we can be partners while going through the details.
Do we like things in easy-to-follow steps?

Then we will plan our offer carefully. We won’t make up an offer and tell ourselves, “I have a good feeling about this offer.” Let’s save our feelings for our therapists.

For our prospects, we need an offer so good that they will feel silly for turning our offer down. We want to make our offer a “no-brainer”, so our prospects can make their decisions fast.

Will we create a great offer on our first try?


In the beginning, we will be underwhelming. Later, when we get better at making our offers, we will look back and cringe at our first attempts. This is normal as we get better the more we practice.

What steps should we take to start our offer-making skills? How about these:

Step #1:Understanding our audience. This is why listening to our prospects’ problems makes so much sense.

Step #2:Create an option for our prospects that is better than their current situation.

Step #3:Present our option as a gift. They can use the gift or not. This removes our agenda and calms our prospects.

Common sense. No need to be complicated. Simple is better. Prospects like simple.No need to impress or use hype.

If our offer is better for our prospects than keeping their current situation, they will want it.

We don’t have to have superstar persuasion skills. We don’t want to manipulate or convince our prospects into doing something they don’t want. We offer a better option. That’s it!

If our offer is easy for prospects to understand, they can make an instant decision before we ever explain the details.


Yes. Before our presentation.

Instant offers. Instant decisions.

How fast do prospects make up their minds? Lightning fast. Our brains have many things to think about. We have to decide if this current thought deserves more time, or if we should move on to the next thought. So, when we present an offer, prospects will pre-judge it and pre-judge it harshly in seconds.

How about an easy example? Ready?

You are starved. Hungry, hungry, hungry. I call and say, “Hey, I just picked up a hot pizza and a chocolate cake at the bakery. Mind if I come over?”

Hmmm. A pretty good offer. You are hungry. You like pizza. You love chocolate cake. I am only minutes away. How fast can you make a decision?

You answer, “I will leave the front door open!”

You didn’t need to know the ingredients of the cake. You didn’t even ask what type of pizza I had. Did you want to know about the company founder of the pizzeria? Did you want to hear testimonials about the chocolate cake?


The decision was instant.

I had a great offer to a qualified and starving prospect with a hunger problem. I didn’t need any persuasion skills or magic words.

Offer. One-second decision. Done.


And this is the power of making a great offer to prospects. They can decide instantly.

Why is this important?

Think about our new team members. Will they have instant, high-level network marketing and persuasion skills when they join? Of course not.

But we can give them immediate success if we equip them with powerful offers. Now they can experience some success while learning the skills of our profession.

Here are examples of simple offers, where prospects make decisions after only a few words.

  • Eat cookies. Lose weight.
  • Turn your body into a fat-burning machine.
  • Remove wrinkles while you sleep.
  • Never overpay your mobile phone bill again.
  • Fire your boss, and be your own boss.
  • Live longer instead of dying quickly.
  • Stop commuting and work from home.
  • Retire before your parents do, and at full pay.
  • Help your parents retire when you do, so you can enjoy free vacations together.
  • Have three-day weekends forever.
  • Get an extra paycheck every Friday.
  • Make our skin look like a teenager’s, but without the acne.
  • Lose 10 pounds in the next 14 days.
  • Get paid when your neighbors turn on their lights.
  • Keep your current electricity supplier, but let us send you a lower bill. Use the savings for tacos for the family.
  • Instant natural energy in a capsule, for 1/10th the cost of a Starbucks.
  • In the next 60 days you could lose 20 pounds of unwanted body fat, without joining a sweaty gym.

Only a few words to make a decision? Yes. Unsure? Then let’s make it even fewer words. Ready?

  • Sugar-free
  • One calorie
  • On sale
  • Turbo
  • Proven results
  • Best-seller
  • Best-value
  • New arrival
  • Instant savings
Did we feel it?

How fast did our minds make a “yes” or “no” decision?

Fast, right? We know if this is something we want or not.

Yikes. This brings up an uncomfortable reality.

“The first few words or sentences of our offer could be 95% of our success!”

If our offer solves our prospects’ problems and fixes our prospects’ pain, their decision is easy.

We don’t have to be a bargain.

We don’t have to be the lowest price with the best terms.

Yes, prospects want a deal.

Yes, prospects want value.

But most of all, prospects want to stop the pain of their problems!

Instant decisions, but could we stretch our mindset further?

Consider the possibility that making an offer is better than leads.

Salespeople beg and scream for high-quality leads that are pre-sold. They want pre-screened, stress-free prospects so they can read a brochure to them. Well, that is a salesperson’s fantasy, but not reality. These salespeople don’t even want to invest in the work of building rapport and trust.

But what if for a moment we forget about leads? We forget about targeting. We forget about funnels.

Instead, we consider a different way.

What if we offered a simple option to everyone in seconds? What would happen?

First, prospects react to getting an option instead of being sold through a sales presentation.

They think, “Let me hear the option to see if it would serve me or not. The only way an option can benefit me is if I take it. Let me look for positive ways that this option will work.”

Now they are looking for “reasons why” our offer can work for them.

Prospects continue thinking. “Because this is an option, you are giving me the power to see if it fits my life now or not. I am in control of the decision. I won’t feel manipulated by some persuasive sales technique by you. No need to be defensive.”

Now we prevent rejection. This feels so good.

Our simple offer takes seconds.

This way is faster than pre-qualifying a lead

All we do is gift an option, an option that is better than our prospects’ current situation. We allow our intelligent prospects to choose what is best for them at this time in their lives.

Prospects are not dumb. They can choose between something that will improve their lives, or keep their lives the same.

Their thoughts might be:

  • “Do I want more money in my life, or less money?”
  • “Do I want to lose weight one time and keep it off forever?”
  • “Do I want to keep my wrinkles or get rid of them?”
  • “I can do math. A lower bill is better than a bigger monthly bill.”
  • “Does retiring early feel better than working to age 80?”
  • “Work from home or continue to fight an hour of traffic every morning?”

Our simple offer could take seconds, and it’s faster than pre-qualifying a lead.

We gift an option that’s better than what our prospects currently have, and let them choose what’s best for them at this time in their lives.

Prospects aren’t dumb. They can choose between something that will improve their lives or they can keep their problems.

“But my product is so boring. I can only think of one or two short offers.”


Or are we being lazy and unimaginative?

Take any product or service and start collecting ideas now. Once we know that we are looking for fast and easy ways to make an offer, we will notice these gems in the future. Need an example?

A skincare and cosmetic networker asked for a few starter offers. Here were some of our initial suggestions to her.

  • “Makes your skin look so good, you will never have to wear makeup again.”
  • “Avoid the Clown School of Makeup by using our coordinated color palettes.”
  • “Cheap makeup makes us look ... cheap.”
  • “Skin like a baby in only 14 days.”
  • “Feels so good that you can’t stop touching your skin.”
  • “We call this the ‘pore-reducer.’”
  • “Makes your skin look so young that you won’t be able to buy alcohol anymore.”
  • “Acne-buster!”
  • “Stop laying in bed at night listening to your skin wrinkle.”
  • “Keep wrinkles away an extra 15 years.”
  • “Wrinkle-shrinker.”
  • “Lipstick that stays on your lips, not on cups and clothing.”
  • “Have natural long lashes, without gluing them on.”
  • “Makes your skin younger every night while you sleep.”
  • “Double-chin remover.”
  • “Lose those wrinkles!”
  • “You never want your face to look older than you are.”
  • “Facelift in a bottle.”
  • “We don’t want to look like a prune.”
  • “Get rid of the ‘tech-neck’ from looking at your phone all the time.”
  • “Have that spa look in just 12 minutes.”

And these were only a start!

Yes, we can expand our offerings if we try.

One of my favorite single-panel cartoons is of a doctor talking to his fat businessman patient. The doctor offers:

“What fits your busy schedule better? Exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?”

What if we don’t believe that prospects make quick decisions?

Then, we will be like John, the fact-driven network marketer. Here is his conversation with his prospects.

John bores his prospects. “B-o-n-u-s … n-u-m-b-e-r … s-e-v-e-n …”

His presentation couldn’t go any slower. Painful. And now his prospects start to twitch. Something bad is going to happen.

“We have to interrupt you, John. Don’t go any further. We don’t want to waste your time. We are not interested. This is not for us.” John’s prospects are in full eye-roll mode.

“But ... but ... how can you not be interested as you haven’t seen the whole picture yet?” John pleads to talk more.

But his prospects respond, “We have to get off this call now. We ... uh ... have a pressing appointment we must get to.”

We understand the cause of this scenario now.

Okay, but how about some clear examples

Our opening offer:

“I can help your utility bill be larger or smaller, which one would you like me to do?”

“I can help you be healthier and live longer, or help make your life shorter. Which one would you like me to talk about?”

“I can help your bank account get larger, or help it get smaller. Which one would you like to talk about?”

“I can help your skin look older … or younger. Which one is more interesting to you?”

Getting this initial “yes” decision is a start

Of course, we will have to do more. But if we start with our prospects having an open mind, and wanting our solution, the rest of our conversation gets easy. Our prospects are on our side, wanting what we offer.

Our job is to construct a creative offer that is a better option for our prospects’ lives.

But … but … what if we don’t feel creative?

Some people have natural creativity in their genes. Congratulations to them!

Us? Maybe not.

We think, “They didn’t teach me creativity in school. Probably because it was too much work to grade creativity tests. It will take me forever to train my mind to be creative!”

The good news is that we don’t have to have these exceptional creativity skills to make awesome offers. Then what do we need?

A checklist of basic tools

Each tool will prompt us to make small changes to our original boring offers. These tools help us look at new ways to improve our offers.

We don’t have to use all of these basic tools, but it is nice to look at our offers through each tool’s lens. We will see new possibilities from our new viewpoint.

And don’t worry. Yes, there are a lot of tools we could learn, but the reality? We will only need a few of these most basic tools to improve.

Let’s start looking at some of these building block tools now.

Excerpt from

An Offer They Can’t Refuse

14 tools to create better offers for network marketing