Yes, we should build rapport. 

But if we take too much time with idle chit-chat, we won't have time to talk business. We want to get to the purpose of our coffee meeting.

After hearing a few boring and irrelevant stories about our prospects’ pets, we want to change the subject. 

Coffee Partner: “Fluffy is a rescue cat. We visited over 20 shelters to find the perfect cat.”

Us: “Oh.”

Coffee Partner: “And wow! You ought to see the hairballs Fluffy coughs up. Every day a new fuzzy surprise. Hard to believe Fluffy is so regular.”

Us: “Oh.”

Coffee Partner: “I suppose we should brush our Fluffy more, but she doesn’t like that. She has such a delicate temperament.”

Us: “Oh.”

Coffee Partner: “I have to tell you about yesterday’s hairball. You can’t imagine how sticky it was.”

Our eyes roll to the back of our heads. We need to change the conversation now.

How long should we listen?

When prospects talk, they love it when we listen. They love it so much, they may continue talking forever unless we take action. 

How can we politely change the conversation? We want our prospects to talk about the problems in their lives that we could help with. This is what we do.

Try these words: 

“Very interesting. I am just curious …”

Then, change the subject with a great opening sentence that steers the conversation to business. Examples?

“Very interesting. I am just curious. If you didn’t have to job that you had to go to, what would you be doing right now?”

“Very interesting. I am just curious. If you always had three-day weekends, what would you do differently?”

“Very interesting. I am just curious. How would you like more time to spend with Fluffy?”

Will this way of changing the subject work for everyone?

No.

Starting with, “Very interesting. I am just curious” is only one solution.

One size won't fit all. We want to accumulate many transitions to get the conversation back on track. We want to talk about business. Yes, we should be polite, but at some point, we should talk about the purpose of our coffee meeting.

So after our “Very interesting. I am just curious” opening, we want our next words to capture our coffee partners’ interest. We want them to say, “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”

Fun examples of these interesting first sentences?

“My skinny jeans were not working, so I found an easier way to lose 15 pounds. Would you like to know what I did?”

Our chubby coffee partner can’t wait to find out the answer. Curiosity works. Plus, we made it easy to ask us for more details. When our prospects volunteer, oh my. Life is good.

If we wanted a simpler opening for diet products, we could have said:

“What do you think of my shrinking stomach?”

Easy and fast. 

But what if we wanted to build a team? To open the conversation about our business, we could say this:

“If a 5% pay raise at work excites you, then you will love this.”

Our coffee partner can’t wait for the next sentence.

But what if we prefer to talk about our residual income possibilities? Then, start with this:

“I want to retire early, so I finally got a plan. What is your plan for retiring early?”

Now our coffee partners have to talk about business and life. When we ask questions, people feel obligated to answer. They will talk about their hopes and dreams. 

Will our coffee partner have a plan?

Unlikely.

Our conversation should be smooth from here. 

How about another question that compels our coffee partner to talk?

“I had a dream last night that I worked out of my home. What do you think that dream means?”

When we listen to the answers, we hear emotional reasons that motivate our coffee partners. Maybe they end up talking about their long commutes to work? Or, maybe they miss their families and can’t wait to spend more time with them? Listening is powerful.

How about a question that opens our coffee partners’ minds to new possibilities?

“You know, we’re not too old yet. Do you think we have a chance to do something more than our jobs for the rest of our lives?”

We are not the only people with dreams for the future. Let’s allow our coffee partners to tell us their dreams and ambitions. Maybe our business opportunity can help them get there faster.

How about a question that targets frustration and dissatisfaction?

“This 9-5 grind wasn’t my dream when I left school. I want something better. What about you?”

Do people want life to be better? Of course. We point out that work could be better, and now this is on their minds. The conversation is easy from here.

“So, what’s the worst thing about your job?”

This opens up an interesting conversation that could lead to our business solution.

Do people love to complain? Yes! Get ready for their painful stories. The more they complain, the more motivated they become to fix their problem. Motivation is a great emotion to get a decision fast.

How do people feel about weekends? They love them.

"I got tired of waiting for the weekends. My new plan? Make every day feel like a Saturday. Want to know my plan?"

Curious to know the plan? Who can resist? It’s a mesmerizing question.

How about starting with advice from others? 

“My oldest son told me to stop chasing my dreams. Instead, he told me to start living my dreams. How? By choosing the work that makes me happy. Does this sound like good advice?”

One of our favorites is from a reply to a post by Paul Eilers. 

“Personally, my coffee tastes better at the beach.”

What a great and natural way to start a productive conversation, and it only took a few words.

Opening conversation starters feel easier now, right?

What if our coffee partner was personality-enhanced and dripping with charisma? How about these openers?

"Ever think about turning your natural charisma into cash?"

"You’re a natural at connecting with people. Would you like to get paid for it?”

“Do you enjoy chatting with new people?”

Outgoing prospects will want this conversation to continue. We’re talking their language.

“I got thinking, ‘No one is coming to save me.’ So if I want my life to change, it looks like the only thing holding me back is me.”

Our coffee partner will start thinking the same thing. If society hasn’t crushed our coffee partner’s spirit already, there is a chance this conversation can lead to something good

“This would be my ideal life. Rush hour would be a trip to my kitchen to a new coffee machine. What would your ideal life look like?”

And now we listen. We will see if our prospect wants something better or has given up on life.

“I split my paycheck with my regular bills. I’m still waiting for my share. What about you?”

It won’t be hard for prospects to empathize and see the same pattern in their lives.

"Remember when we were kids and believed we could be anything? What happened?”

Our prospects’ answers will tell us if they have given up on life, or if we have a future soulmate on our entrepreneurial journey.

“Bad odds for us winning this week’s lottery, but want to know what is possible? Starting our own business.”

If our prospects’ faces freeze in horror, let’s exhale and just enjoy our coffee. But some prospects want us to continue. These prospects will be fun to talk to.

Don’t start with these sentences

We can ruin a good coffee meeting with mercenary first sentences like these:

• “Have you considered your residual income and Plan B options?”
• “I am in the global search for entrepreneurial talent, for time freedom and financial freedom, whereby they can enhance lifestyle ...”
• “I am a distributor with the Wonderful Company from the Wonderful City started by Mr. Wonderful. We have Wonderful products ...”
• “I am looking for 5 motivated people who want to make money with me in the world’s easiest business.”

Do we feel the salesperson’s alarm yet?

Maybe these phrases worked 40 years ago, but now prospects are more sophisticated and skeptical.

Our first sentences are important. Our prospects will judge us harshly based on how we start.

The good news is: “We might be only a single sentence away from changing our lives.”